Ride the…Demonic Encounter (news)

Everytime I play Guild Wars 2, I think about Metallica… 😀

First, here’s my character (she’s a Sylvari Elementalist) :


Here’s the name of the spell and what it does :

gw006gw002 gw007gw003 gw004

Aaaannnddd…here’s the song I think about non-stop when using that spell… 😀

All of this blabber to say that I’m currently rather deep into reworking the “original” snippet “Demonic Encounter” (which, by the way, became a full short story of it’s own…kinda…I’m still on first chapter and there are 4 in total). New characters (almost…), new setting as well (that of Guild Wars 2, and my head world : Wyrdaenia). I will be posting not chapter by chapter, but rather scene by scene (a chapter contains many scenes), AND with songs to go along, mostly of the rock / metal genre. Also, when you’ll read it and if you see a song that would fit a particular scene, then, leave a comment, and maybe I’ll add it (you can add comments anonymously, you don’t need to register for that, so don’t hesitate ! 😀


Bigheaded author with terrible writing

Hi folks !

I don’t usually post my complaints in public, unless I’m so pissed off, that I just estimate I have to.

I’ve recently stumbled on an artist so bad, it’s just beyond my comprehension how she keeps doing so much shit…as well as having such a horrible shitty attitude that all I want to do to her is smash her head in the wall.

I don’t know what’s in her head, but it’s a fucking MESS.

If you wonder why I’m so much after this “author”, you should directly jump at the last part.

And please, PLEASE, if you somehow know who I’m talking about, don’t make their name public. Please respect my wishes.

In the meantime, I’ll start off with…

Instance #1 : her character “development” (she’s fallen so low, I don’t think there’s any worse) :

One year ago I started to follow author #1 and her characters eagerly. They had some bad attitude, but there was still plenty of room for character development, so I thought “It’ll get better, this is just the beginning.” The beginning of a story in which  a prophecy mentions a mortal (said person’s persona !…I’ll call her A) who is going to be the doom of a demon (we’ll call him X). Fine. Plenty of epic battle ahead, I love this sort of stuff.

Now, granted, there were some battles. But why does she have to kill everybody and find such a lot of insane pride in it, damn near everytime something in her life goes wrong or someone hurt her little feelings ? Is she happy storming a city and then sitting in baby blood…? (why yes…cities aren’t only made of stupid populace…there are also plenty of INNOCENT people…jeez).

Until that point, I didn’t really care…I still naively thought it would change. I didn’t even care when I read about the brutal murder of her first mortal husband’s ex girlfriend (we’ll call her P) (this was actually the very first thing I read from her, I didn’t even know she was a serial killer, I didn’t know many things actually, until later on). She was a tart who led him on…So A brutally murdered her, with the help of her husband (we’ll call him Z), even torturing P’s current boyfriend. A and Z had two kids. Nice family so far, except when…

E (A’s best friend, and the persona of author #2) got captured by a demon (we’ll call him B) who tortured her a bit (I didn’t follow this episode much). Anyway…A had to deal with B, and through “dealing” with him, fell in love for him and even got pregnant from him (all the while still being married to Z ! disgusting…), and she didn’t come up to his face to tell him immediately, and the break up was explosive. I still didn’t care enough to unwatch her and that text and roleplay were the first ones I stumbled upon, so I kept watching, thinking it was completely awesome. Also because I read that episode after some other stuff she wrote.

The father of B showed up, being all hell-bent on destroying (no pun intended…he did show up before though) A and everything she loves, making her life a living, torturing hell all day and night, he started by raping and torturing her niece. And also showed up during many other times to make A’s life as horrible as possible. Then, one night when there was sort of a cease fire between A and X, they f*cked together. Then she made out a plan where he would fall for her, killing him whilst he was weak. Realizing how weak he was becoming (he still wanted her dead), he decided he would wipe out her entire “family” : he started to also rape and torture her best friend, almost beheaded her niece’s husband and tearing apart his soul, almost killed A’s kids (one of his minion was charged of that), and finally, killing his own son (someone else did actually, because he provoked a dispute between the two, but enough details already)…as for X himself, he took the appearance of Z to “distract” A so she wouldn’t save anybody. Except she did. I really enjoyed until now, but…

After all the shit and all the stress that has been raining down her family and herself she only thought of him (and possibly how good he was in bed…insulting to those she’s supposed to love -like E- …it’s obnoxious and disgusting). And don’t even get me started on that ridiculous faltering she had during one week, drinking herself stupid (but not so much that she would be useless at fighting), not sleeping, and all around bawling because she only thought about fucking him and thought he would change. It sounded all too much like : “Oh, obviously evil demonic villain, why are you acting so evil ? We’ve been fucking together…!” In her utter despair, she almost killed herself with a knife to the throat, when BOOM ! X showed up ! They confided into each other and found out they had a lot in common ! And (brace yourselves, this is where the really twisted stuff comes in) they fucked again, and later on, they married and A had a child…again. She also thought the kids she already had (the ones who were almost killed) would be polite with him and her family, not so angry about it.

And then there was a big “everyone is in the same room”. She was pressed to announce the nature of her relationship with X, which she did, announcing their marriage in front of everyone, and especially B, who just got resurrected (by Z who ripped half of his soul for this). Of course he felt utterly humiliated. Somehow, she got even worse than P. The tart she murdered because she cheated on Z, her first husband. What’s even worse is that E defended A’s right and choice to marry X. If you don’t see a problem with that…either you didn’t read correctly or you really have no sensitivity and very poor judgement…I feel sorry for you, and for the state of any of your relationships you may had / have / will have with friends, lovers or victims of cheating or of abuse.

Then she fought a demon lord to offer a circle of hell to B, got killed, and was resurrected by X (who had grief and was distraught !) to become a demon. And I stopped following here.

Instance #2 : “Oh, the incoherencies” or “how to treat the gravest subjects as if they are nothing” :

On her character :

-Throughout the whole thing she calls herself a “guardian” : she’d guard the ones she loves out of harm, or try to fix things gone sour…except…no, obviously.

-She often said she “won’t tolerate threats to her family”. She also claims to care for her family. Yet she always ends up f*cking or marrying the guys who threaten her family or her, the most. Not to mention her ridiculous faltering of one week long when X tries to destroy her and her loved ones (I don’t know why everyone finds her so badass. I kinda feel sorry for these people). Honestly “the more you threaten her family, the more chance you have to fuck with her” is what I think of her. Lol.

-She claims to hate injustice soooo much and to not answer kindly to it, yet…she’s the one who burns whole cities and trees down, (and she calls herself a druid, druids are supposed to be one with nature, and by extension, to like it and be devoted to it, lol), spread her diseases spells everywhere, kill everyone in sight, even torturing and eating them, and showing no regret whatsoever…..Hahahaha…no.

-Her “changes” or “character development” only goes through becoming more and more powerful everytime she gets resurrected (five times…?), changing only her class / powers / social status (?), but there’s never any mental development…that’s just boring, to say the least. The same logic applies to the men she chooses it seems. As she jumps from a mortal, to a demon, to one of the most powerful demon in existence.

-She bawls about how her life sucks, yet obviously does absolutely fucking nothing to change it as she constantly brings chaos to her family by taking utterly reckless, stupid, irresponsible and inconsiderate decisions and ends up “fixing things up” (it’s like the RP revolves around her…).

On her other characters (and her friend’s) :

-I can’t tell anymore how many times I saw “rape”, “mutilation”, “torture”, “murder”, or “being beaten up” (abandoned too, but mainly all the “bigger” things) used as a plot twist or as backstory, when other things could have been used more efficiently. Also it’s all too clear that they just put some of this stuff STRAIGHT out of their asses, without any research (e.g : some character gets raped, show signs of trauma for less than a year, and after that, are back to their usual, slutty attitude and skimpy clothes…Hello ?! Rape trauma – or any other trauma – lasts much longer than that !! (Hint : usually it’s life-long, and you are not the same as before). Come on, NOW. Some people JUST may have gone through this SHIT. And these authors give no fuck whatsoever about how fucking disgusting and insulting they actually are. Despite some people like me who were fucking trying damn hard to be KIND with their critique. I actually don’t care if you want to write about these things. But for your own sake and that of your readers, you’d better know what the hell you are talking about. There is literally NO EXCUSE for not doing any research. Especially in this internet age, where all the information is just a few clicks away.

-Some characters that seem mentally healthy are actually completely fucked up. A well educated couple who lets in their serial killer brother into the house or whatever. As if all parents are assholes (see above). Or even, women wanting kids with guys becoming / already being completely insane. -_-‘

-Characters that are put into a couple, just because the authors are projecting themselves into it. I don’t know how to explain it more clearly, but anyway, the end result is that the couple doesn’t seem natural and organic AT ALL. Characters that wouldn’t tolerate an attitude from people are miraculously tolerating it from the character they have been shipped with, just because the authors want them that way and think they are “meant to be” or else… [insert stupid reason here]. They are stifling the real character’s personality, forcing it into a relationship that would not exist via “natural means” of developing through writing and not just that senseless “Omg we’ll ship character #1 with character #2 !”.

Instance #3 : What she personally did to me :

If you’ve read the rest above, you’ve probably noticed how much of a fan of her I was, before being completely underwhelmed by her story and characters…and later on, by her shitty attitude.

I started by simply following her and I was always asking her stuff about her characters, until they started to act stupid and senseless, and this is where I started to kindly critique (constructive, mature critiques, I mean, not that senseless trolling some people do just to piss other people off). Sometimes she answered, but most of the time, not. I just wanted to help and for her to get better at her drawing / writing. I’ve also wanted to RP or have an art trade or whatever with her and she kept delaying it with excuses. I ended up writing a little snippet after asking her. I only wrote the beginning, and just described her character’s physical appearance. I didn’t even finish it. I also left a comment on one of her picture where her persona was a demi-god, and she hid it (bigheaded, much ?). I seemed to be “stressing out” everyone, saying “forbidden” stuff in comments…I was pissed off). She told me to wait until her character became a demi-god for us to RP…maybe so she could squash my character like an insect when she had enough, haha !

Anyway, when she saw the snippet, she didn’t respond, sulked in her corner and ignored me for three months, so I had enough and posted it anyway (all that because I said in the artist’s comments section that I fell out of love with it because she didn’t answer). I asked again in notes what was wrong for another three months (so that’s a 6 months wait in total before even getting an answer), and she sent me a VERY bitchy note, about how I pushed her (despite having waited all the time in the world already), and how disrespectful I have been, posting a snippet without her consent, despite the fact I told her I would change anything if she asked. But no, she just made a scene, saying pissy, ridiculous shit to me.

Because, clearly, I’m the big villain for trying to please her as best as I could.

And then, being a complete jerk, she opened a contest where “your character meets mine”. Even one of my friend told me that she basically stole my idea… Lol…

In total I wasted almost two years of my life with her. Never again.

Lastly, a note to those of you who recognize yourselves in her (or want to defend her) :

Just because you don’t like what I’m saying doesn’t mean I’m a troll. Quit being so butthurt for no fucking reason. Not everyone feels like they somewhat owe you to kiss your ass, especially if you enjoy wallowing into your own willful ignorance and stupidity. If you want positive attention, this is not the way to go. And besides, that won’t help you evolve, which is the whole point of a critique. Critiques aren’t supposed to be lengthy compliments, and stuff like that : “Oh my god ! Poor little whatever, she’s had it so hard, and now she’s killing people, but she’s so nice, she is just misunderstood, the poor dear !! Everyone else who doesn’t agree is too stupid to see the truth !!!” …definitely won’t make you rise above.

Just get over yourself, already !

You hate me ? Fine. I am not sorry. Your own fault for pissing me off. Have fun in your hatred. I don’t care.


TL ; DR Version :

Instance #1 : The shittiesh roleplay story you will ever read :

Because it’s totally cool to be a psychopathic whore and not wrong at all to marry your best friend’s rapist and your kids’ wannabe murderer…instead of kicking his ass, as it should be.

Faltering (before marrying him and after he tried to kill her “family”) because they have been F*CKING together, and she expected him to be “not so evil”. Lol.

I didn’t read or see “Fifty Shades of Grey”, but it might just be better than this.

Instance #2 : The incoherencies of the whole thing :

This so called “guardian” not doing her freaking job of defending her loved ones. Being the star of the RP (it would have been okay if she wasn’t all around bad, inconsiderate and hopelessly stupid). NO CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT except growing more and more powerful (Boring !). Claiming to not like injustice but kill / eat people, burns whole cities down. Lol.

Rape (and other subjects along those lines, such as torture) being treated like just mere inconveniences, instead of the life-long, life-changing trauma they actually are.

Characters put in a couple and their real personalities stifled, just because the authors project themselves too much in them.

Instance #3 : Fuck you, bitch !

This is my last word to you. I certainly am NOT going to validate all this shit you write. I am NOT here to kiss your ass. For your own sake, learn to accept CONSTRUCTIVE critiques and quit calling people trolls for it. Get over yourself.

Lastly…I am NOT in the wrong for just wanting to write something featuring your character. Just because she wasn’t presented as “godly”, you shunned me. I also really had enough waiting SIX ridiculous months for your answer, so yes, I left a snippy comment. YOU should have asked me to modify the writing if you weren’t happy with it.

Writing resources : Villainy

5 Tips On Villains by Droemar : http://droemar.deviantart.com/journal/5-Tips-On-Villains-227441176

The Art of VILLAINY by OokamiKasumi : http://ookamikasumi.deviantart.com/art/The-Art-of-VILLAINY-152491310

Paper Villains by MissLunaRose : http://misslunarose.deviantart.com/art/Paper-Villains-306875874

Notes on Villains by Liketheisland : http://liketheisland.deviantart.com/art/Notes-on-Villains-251616182

Methods to Madness: Villains, by Dragga : http://dragga.deviantart.com/art/Methods-to-Madness-Villains-126109313

Basic Tips To Write Better & More Despicable Villains : http://www.springhole.net/writing/write_better_villains.htm

Mindsets & Rationales That Lend Well To Villainy : http://www.springhole.net/writing/mindsets-and-rationales-that-lend-to-villainy.htm

How It Feels To Be A Bigot : http://www.springhole.net/other/how-it-feels-to-be-a-bigot.htm

I haven’t read these :

Writing 101: Why Good Villains Are Important, by startraveller776 : http://startraveller776.deviantart.com/art/Writing-101-Why-Good-Villains-Are-Important-367999750

On Writing: Villains, by OnyxSturm : http://onyxsturm.deviantart.com/art/On-Writing-Villains-268717064

How to Make a Villain by dragon8writer : http://dragon8writer.deviantart.com/art/How-to-Make-a-Villain-151993012

How to Avoid Creating a Weak Villain : http://www.wikihow.com/Avoid-Creating-a-Weak-Villain

This whole site is dedicated to villains ! http://riithewordsmith.wordpress.com/


Demonic Encounter (Aborted project snippet)

This was supposed to be a short snippet about me (or rather, my character, Lùnsheynn) meeting The-Zombie-Cat‘s character / avatar (Zee an undead night elf / troll hybrid, plague knight class), and The-Cerzz‘s Character (Bo’Zane the demon Lord of the Third circle of Hell). Their universe is set in a modified version of World of Warcraft. The snippet was supposed to be a cross between mine and their world, but I fell out of love, and grew tired with this, when they didn’t bother answering my questions about their characters (after a 3 (and more) months wait).

Scene one happens in one of the lush forest of the East on Wyrdaenia (my world).
Scene two happens on Azeroth, I don’t know where, precisely. Zane wants to absolutely visit Wyrdaenia (probably to destroy it to assert his dominance), but Lùnsheynn is denying him this, making him angry in his over-developed pride, and so threatens Lùnsheynn who threatens him in turn. I know my character would probably have been dead already, given Zane’s foul temper and tendency to overreact on everything, but I just wanted to write a tense scene between the two.

Feel free to critique, comment (but please keep in mind that this is an aborted project and may not get edited, refined or updated in any way, unless one of the two writers show a deep interest in it). 🙂

Lùnsheynn (c) Aurore MetalFeline Ciholas
Zee (c) Misty Miller AKA The-Zombie-Cat
Bo’Zane (c) Carey Villers AKA The-Cerzz
Do NOT use, edit, copy, redistribute, make money off of it, or whatever else, without my expressed written permission !
Thank you.


Scene One : Beginning. Meeting Zee who got lost.

I was out since twilight, and it has been getting darker, further into the night, ever since. Of course, in such a deep forest, even if it was during day, the people jokingly said that you couldn’t really see the difference. The bioluminesence of the plants was now making it’s way to lighten up the environement made of purples, blues and greens, and my eyes were starting to close from the effort of the hunt and my now full stomach of the antelope I had caught, maybe half an hour ago. Not that I needed such a big animal for one diner, but I would make several days with it.
The spring breeze was blowing lightly in my face, bringing the usual, seemingly calm, sound of the forest and its inhabitants into my ears, which were anything but at rest. I had nothing to fear right now and was really starting to doze off, when I heard a rather loud crack. Magic. I got up on my four legs, still in my therian form (a rather big animal form, resembling a big feline), my pointed, long ears instantly pointing to where the sound was coming from, and a low growl escaped my throat despite myself. I quickly hid the freshly killed prey and its smell under some soil, and jumped from where I was. I made my way through the branches and lush vegetation until I could see what was causing that.
The breeze gave a turn and blew me a smell of soil after the rain, even though it hasn’t been raining for days, now. An humanoid figure detached itself before my eyes as I approched yet closer, a female, or so it seemed. She was moving in every direction possible, looking a the canopy and elsewhere, rubbing the side of her neck. Surely she was lost. And she didn’t look like anything I ever saw before. She didn’t seem to have any claws or a tail, no horns, nothing I knew, except for her glowing green eyes, which reminded me of the immortal species I am a part of. Her hair was a dark purple hue, like the night itself, her skin was pale grey and she had several scars. She was probably a warrior of some sort. And she seemed…too pale to be even alive. I could sense her life-force…she was undead.


Scene Two : Zane wants to visit Wyrdaenia (my world).

-I’m not going to tell you how, anyway, so quit it.”
-I’ll quit whatever I want, whenever I want.” Zane growled in my ear, his hand still firm on my throat. He started menacing me. “You don’t seem to grasp…”
-“What ?” I cut him short, exasperated. “What would you even do with it ? Destroy it ? Do you think I don’t know what you want ?! I’m the guardian and the sole representant of this world, here in Azeroth, it’s up to me to decide who’s getting there, and if this doesn’t please…”
He pushed his hand in my throat yet further, and this time, I really choked on my words.
-“If this doesn’t please me, I will make you beg.” He snarled, pushing into my throat again, making the rocks crack behind me.
-“If I don’t beg you now, I won’t beg later. Release me.” I gasped in between two words.
-“I don’t take orders from mortals.“, he snarled, making sure he utterred the last word slowly.
I smirked. I didn’t care. I extended the claws slightly from my hand which was holding his wrist, trying to push away from my throat. I let my claws slightly touch his skin. He hissed.
-“Call me a mortal all you want. It was not an order, but an advice.”, I growled. “Just know that if you don’t release me, I will make it myself, and that’s going to hurt, by the looks of it. And I don’t want to make anyone hurt.”

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